Bohol: Hula Hula Who 2012

 C'mon let us sing the Puff, The Magic Dragon (a song written by Leonard Lipton and Peter Yarrow, and made popular by Yarrow's group Peter, Paul and Mary) to make all those dragons happy:

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

 For those who love a little bit of trivia:  Chinese dragons have five toes, Korean dragons have four toes and Japanese dragons have three toes. It is said that the farther dragons travel from their home in China, the more toes they are likely to lose. When these perambulating dragons return home, all their missing toes grow back. Since most dragons prefer to keep all their toes, all the time, few dragons ever stray very far from home.

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It's finally 2012! The most interesting year because there has been an increased interest in the ancient Mayan writings that on December 21, 2012 is the end of the world. Some Mayan elders say it will mark a time of destruction and the end of civilization. However, some scholars suggest that it’s not the end of the world but a time of transition from one world age into another.

Whatever it is, let the dragon enter! Most astrologers and feng shui experts say that 2012, the year of the Yang Water Dragon (January 23, 2012 - February 9, 2013), brings many possibilities for good fortune. “In Chinese astrology, the dragon is quite special and very much revered and is the only animal of the Chinese zodiac year that is not real,” says my Chinese friend.

It is also the season of hula hula or tagna tagna where all forms of mananagna, fake or real, are being hunted for their services. I must take a bow because last year's Hula Hula Who was ehem 95% true! Clap! Clap! Clap! Believe it or not but through the years, Bared has had a better batting average (read: more credible, He! He! He! He!). As I told you before, there's no need wrapping your head with a turban like you –know-who or consulting a mananagna, fondling mutya or crystal ball, shuffling a deck of cards or scanning the sky to "foretell" what's in store for our favorite Boholanos in the next 12 months, but only believing my troops of Very Reliable Sources (VRS) here and everywhere.

I’m dishing out my traditional “Hula Hula Who” for 2012, the Year of the Dragon.

Brace yourselves:

Anna Maris Igpit and Glenn Soco won’t be tying the knot this year...and neither will Mayor Rey Niño Boniel and his sexy girlfriend....nor Dominic “Dobap” Aparicio (for what?) and his girlfriend (is there any?) will plan to settle down this year.

Mayor Cary Camacho, Atty. Brian Gaviola, Doc Homer Singco, Doc Renz Acedo and Atty. Kokoy Lim will remain loveless (but not for long). Hello, beautiful and sexy girlfriends!

Karla Tirol Magno and Tsino Lim will not marry this year or in the near future. They will just continue to enjoy their blissful togetherness. (Oops, there goes my crystal ball again, becoming blurred..He! He! He! He!)

Eden Descallar will tie the knot this year (no more sukob this year) because she's ready and so her boyfriend who can't wait for another year.

Prony, the largest python in captivity, will find a new home. However, Paloma/Marimar will take a break.

Jane Cajes and husband Baba Yap’s first-born will be a girl.

Loida Lagonoy will finally- finally!- meet the “man of her dreams.” Oops..The crystal ball didn’t say if they will get married.

Centerstage Band will release their long-awaited debut album and Fr. Fro Lungay and Meo Mascariñas will release their second album.

Boholano actors whose star will shine even brighter in Year 2012 – and beyond: Cesar Montano, Rich Asuncion, Lailette Boiser and Tintin Ng who will be given another break in movies and teleseryes.

More controversies will rock this year’s Miss Bohol Sandugo. Otherwise, a "quiet" Miss Bohol will not be a "usual" Miss Bohol at all.

Fashion icon EJ Relampagos will be in the limelight. International teh!

Tessie Labunog-Sumampong and her family will enjoy a bakasyon grande! Hello America!

Betty Veloso-Garcia will be home this Valentine’s Day. She will be busy preparing for the Tigum Bol-anon in Tibuok Kalibutan (TBTK) this coming May.

Bohol’s Queen of Tourism Rose Soy will be busy in other things and she will relinquish her crown as Santacruzan Queen.

Mikey Gatal will make an earth shaking revelation about his lovelife.

The "war" between Mayor Dan Neri Lim and others will continue to “sour” into highest level. Someone will intervene but... (Oops! The crystal ball suddenly becomes blurred He! He! He! He!)

KatKat Schoof and Bryant Chu might expect a stork visit. Their eldest deserves a little brother or a little sister. The crystal ball says that Dra. Aileen Tan-Magdoza and Vida Tirol-de Juan will experience morning sickness.

Bohol will be the set location of a movie. No elaboration.

dyRD will initiate major reformatting of some of its shows. As the radio shakes and rattles, heads will surely roll.

AND NOW, THE BLIND ITEMS ‘HULA HULA WHO’

A gay marriage will happen in Bohol by known personalities. (My crystal ball didn’t show where in Bohol but it looks like white sandy beach.)

A high-ranking official will discover the "snakes" inside the office. (The crystal ball didn’t specify “he” or “she” the ranking official is).

Two weddings of prominent families will happen this year. It will be merged of power and influence.

The marriage of a young businesswoman and a law expert will ever reach the altar will go through a rough road and, if they don’t watch out, might hit splitsville.

A young daughter of a town executive will follow the man she loved even at the end of the rainbow.

A big event this May will be livelier but only few will attend. Moreover, controversies will continue.

A beauty queen will have no choice but confess that she has been having an illicit affair to her newly-found prince charming. The prince charming will bring her to his kingdom.

To generate publicity on Facebook, these young models aka pa-cute models will pretend that they are breaking up. Their “fake “break-up might end up for real.

A high-ranking official who is known for his claws will get involved in a politically-motivated controversy.

A controversial couple will break up due to financial difficulties.

A separated couple will bury the hatchet and kiss and make up. Sweet!

Boholano beauties will bring pride to Bohol in a national tilt! The crystal ball reveals the letters LL and KD!

Expect pregnancies out of wedlock this year. Like a beauty queen and a young sexy model who will get pregnant out of wedlock and the “culprits” will simply vanish.

Separated sweethearts but "still friends" will find new partners.

There will be prominent Boholanos who will become victims of scams and identity theft on Facebook and other social networks. Facebook and Twitter are not your real friends!

A resort and another business establishment will declare bankruptcy. A rich company will come to the rescue!

Another high-ranking official in the province will find himself enmeshed in a controversy due to immorality.

A prominent couple long suspected of having marital problems will reveal to the whole world that, yes, yes, yes, they’ve been estranged all these years even if they’ve been living under one roof (but sleeping in separate beds?). And they are ready to find partners.

A new band will rise with popularity this year.

A businessman-politician will hog headlines because of money-related anomalies.

More sexy videos of prominent who’s who will be spread via the Internet and cellphones.

A showbiz-oriented talk show will fade out. No elaboration.

Another block time radio program will fade out. No elaboration.

A new singer from Bohol will make name this year. The singer is of one the few Boholanos who will give honor to Bohol.

An international performer (whose parents are from Bohol) will come home.

A radio personality will send feelers for a return to the original home station which this personality left a few years ago but the home station will simply turn a deaf ear.

Expect shocking revelations from young male socialites (who have pa-macho image) that they are out!  See how the birds of the same feather flock together! Maya-maya or paminta will be most welcomed!

The rainbow of  a messenger of the Word, a politician, an artist, a beauty pageant watcher, a topnotch lawyer, a media man, a philanthropist, and a model will no longer be seen...forever (knock on the wood three times!).

A natural calamity will put Bohol in the headline. Knock on the wood! Please pray.

A controversial project will push through despite controversies and protests. Oops, the crystal ball shows people like ravenous wolves prowling the earth consuming everything in their path.

More scandals will rock the political scene. As usual, some lawmakers will try to get media mileage by threatening to initiate a “probe.”

Another veteran politician will drastically change his political plans for fear of being mercilessly clobbered by his opponent in 2013 May elections.

Towards the end of the year, more (old and veteran) people will declare their intention of running in the 2013 elections. Some will do mudslinging in the last quarter of the year. But, sad to say, only a few of them will win.

The year has only begun and there's still 11 months this 2012 to watch and see for more surprises!

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Thanks for your letters, all will be answered. Comments welcome at leoudtohan@yahoo.com, follow leoudtohan at Twitter or email at Facebook.

A different Princess (The Princess Analiza of Tubigon, Bohol)

When she appeared on TV years ago, she was an instant object of ridicule. Everyone who saw her laughed at her as, they made fun of her “fashion”—colorful gown with Biblical messages, necklaces and other stuff—even if she is not really that bad looking though—but people treated as if she is a nutcase.

And so Princess Analiza of Tubigon town, her so-called kingdom has become a byword to many of having different personas: a woman with esoteric wisdom and a person having a supernatural power.

Her kingdom is actually at the top of the Ilijan Hill in Ilijan Norte, five kilometers from the Poblacion, a protected municipal park for flora and fauna.

Her journey
We met the princess in August 2002 when we asked her to feature her for national TV networks.
Her domain Ilijan Hill was chosen to become her niche for her to practice her hermit passion.

Halilie Laylah Demeras Analiza, whose real name Lucrecia “Nene” Duterte Aplacador had an epiphany in the late 70s and started to become what she is today. She led a group known as “Subano Group catholic Holy God Spirit (SGHGS)” which had followed her to the hill and has stayed on top since. She and her followers have grown accustomed to the life on top of the hill that her group has yet to return to the lowland for 20 years now.

Ilijan Hill in Tubigon, Bohol, Philippines

Princess Analiza before she became the leader of the esoteric group married Isaac Aplacador who is with her o n top of hill. They got married before the epiphany that came to a simple lass that changed her life forever.
The couple was blessed with three children: Arcadio, Jose Baniecito and Laoro, all born on top of the hill. However, Laoro died at an early age due to unknown illness.  After the incident, Nene who was very frustrated sought God’s help, instantly a divine force helped her to overcome her sufferings in life.

Months later, she related the God Holy Spirit gave a “mission” to her and she became Princess Analiza.
Her mission: to pray while walking, inside the church, sea, cemetery and forest. She was also told to live in a small nipa hut and give birth to a baby girl.

She gave birth to the girl by herself without any aid or help of a midwife. The baby turned out to be Prinsesita Mier Ve Batong Orange Nonon Luningning or Batong Orange.

Different belief
It is not easy to enter her kingdom although they welcome other people visiting them. They said though the
Princess only entertains people with pure hearts. At least 17 families are members of the group, which includes people from all walks of life.

The group considers the hill as sacred that is why they are choosy on the kind of people they receive in their domain.

The lijan people speak their own language and only them could understand it. Our interpreter-member Mawin told us that the spirit taught them the language they are using.

The Princess would give out blessings good enough for two years and hand out spiritual names to her followers. A pattern though could be observed in the names of the members where the word WIN will be added to your name while the word MAR will be added if you are a female. So, if your name for example is Leo, you would be called Leowin subject to the approval of the Princess since she is the only one authorized by their group to give out spiritual names.

The group maintains they are no cult, contrary to the perception of other people unfamiliar to their ways.  The Princess said that they are not doing magic rituals, spells or use symbols that are identified with the underworld or to Satanic cults. To prove that their group adhered to the Being up above, the group adopted the catholic Church’s teachings as they are also have statues of saints and use of Catholic songs and prayer books where hey also attended mass in their chapel. The Sunday mass is officiated by an elder since the Princess does not mingle with the group during this time as she is contended by giving out instructions.

The "Holy Family" 

The history, mission and practices of the group has been edified so that their members and the next generation would be able to practice and keep their belief alive.

But what strange is the singing of the last part of the national anthem, they sing “ang MABUHAY nang dahil sa iyo,” instead of the original “ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo.” They believe that their vision tends to bring in ponderous logic and believed to have mysterious healing powers. However, the Princess said, “it means to show unity.”

Princess Analiza believes every human being is completely responsible for his own actions. To her evil is a choice that is made by man and should expect punishment as a result, while blessings will come and go when you are good.

She also holds the ancient belief on reincarnation—the after-life.

Healing powers
Princess Analiza is said to have ability to bring fortune to those who believe in her, foretell calamities and heal the sick.

There were stories from the members that the Princess healed them. The late barangay captain of Ilijan Norte Rogelio Lamalinao testified that the people in the hill once cured a man who had a severe gangrenous wound. Since the man has no resources to pay for an operation, he opted to seek healing from Princess Analiza’s group. During the healing, Princess Analiza raised both her hands as if asking for a divine intercession, when witnesses attested they saw as if an expert’s hand massaging the patient.

In other instance, the village head said while he was still a policeman, he had to climb the steep hill to see for himself and examine a dead baby who was not buried because their leader told them that the dead baby will not undergo decomposition. True enough, he found the boy’s body placed inside an urn in squatting position with clear eyes opened, without any sign of decomposition, even after over a year.

There was no way they could embalm him or introduce preservatives to the body, considering the place is bereft of science and technology.

No regrets
The Princess expresses no regrets of living a life on top of the hill. Despite the supernatural power she possesses which keep people to wonder with awe and respect, she still has the heart of a mother and she is a Princess in her own rights. (March 27, 2005)

Trivia:
The Solid Rock, the Ilijan Hill in old times was known as wizard's place.  It is the Kingdom of King Antipone and Queen Fairystil. Long time ago, people borrowed things and wedding gowns from this place.

In Year 1952, people from neighboring towns were panic for they saw a wondrous Virgin at Ilijan Hill and when they came nearer nothing could be seen. They could only feel and smell the fragrance. The people from Dauis, Bohol also arrived in Ilijan Hill following a wondrous Virgin on top of the rainbow going to Ilijan Hill.

Update: Princess Analiza and Batong Orange are still at Ilijan Hill. The members are growing in numbers and in faith.